I almost passed this day by without realizing what it was. I mean, I realized a couple of weeks ago when my daughter told me she had a play this night, but today it wasn't until my brother said something about it that I realized what today was. It is a year since the divorce.
I must say I lost some unexpected things this year. I lost some weight, but gained some back and I'm working on losing again and this time for good! There was a person that was good to me, but in the craziness of trying to figure out the whole new life I had, something happened. I'm not exactly sure how it started, but that relationship crumbled quite quickly. I love that person, I miss that person, I forgive that person for the things done against me, as I'm pretty sure they also forgive me for the things on my part. The very sad thing is I am left with little to no ability to trust, so as much as I miss that person, I just can't mend that bridge right now.
I also have been given the opportunity to start new on so many levels. I have found an excellent new church. I have never felt so much at home and they have helped me break down the walls of judgment I learned to build. I don't find myself judging others like I used to (which was a lot). I also stopped judging myself. God is a God of love and that's what he wants me to feel from Him! I have found a new love for reading. I must say I have NEVER been a big fan of reading, but in the last year I have finished off at least a book a month, if not more. The really odd thing is I currently have 3 books I'm reading simultaneously and one waiting to be read (don't think I can handle more than 3). I have learned to love people I couldn't stand before as well, but that's only because I chose to get to know them better and stop judging them based on what others said about them.
I must say, I am a lot happier now, my kids are happier and I get the breaks I always needed and wanted. I have changed my priorities and my days off in accordance to that change. I put my kids ahead of anyone else and part of that is making sure I get them to church as well as have a night or two off where we can just spend time together. Sure, that isn't too friendly on the pocketbook, but I wouldn't trade it! I love Tuesdays! I also love Saturdays when I have them with me and we can make new memories.
Well, speaking of memories, my oldest has a school play tonight. I better get some rest so I can be awake enough to man the video camera!
