OK, I have to admit that I don't have the best marriage in the world. I think it's a good thing to admit the truth, so there it is. Well, since I'm trying to improve my eating habits, my health, and my attitude I found it also important to try my hardest to improve my marriage. I have been reading a great book on marriage called Marriage: The Divine Intimacy by Dr. Jack Schaap. It has some very excellent points. In fact, this is the second time I'm going through it and this time I'm writing down stuff that catches me, so it can be even more ingrained in my mind. I wanted to share some thoughts that I've gotten from it so far that I feel are important and will help others.
Dr. Wendell Evans (president of Hyles-Anderson College) says "Leadership and greatness are epitomized by putting up with people you have the right to put down." I think this is an awesome statement because it teaches me that I have 2 choices and if I want to do the right thing then the right choice is to put up with it (whatever it is) and avoid putting that person down for whatever it is that I don't like.
When a husband (either spouse is applicable) is unwilling to change, then wife must create in her heart the man he could become. You must have a vision for your spouse! Then what you do with that vision is take it to God and pray that he will change your spouse into what you want him or her to be. Now one thing I note is that you shouldn't be selfish about how you want him to change. For example, I want my husband to be more faithful in church, that's not for me, it's for him and it will effect the whole family when he's being spiritually fed. That's a big reason why I want him to get this new job, because he won't have an excuse not to go to church unless he's actually sick or something.
Dirty words with sexual connotation are blasphemous because they defy the intimacy the Christian has through the Lord Jesus Christ. Sex has gotten so misrepresented in society that people use a hand gesture that means "I'd like to have the most intimate, sacred union possible with you." when they are angry with another person. Satan doesn't want us to be close to God so he has found a way to pervert the most sacred and intimate of all unions by making it into the dirtiest of words.
As a person loves the Bible more, he understands more fully what it means to give trust and expression of trust to the one he loves the most. I have found this to be true. The more I read the Bible, the more I deeply desire to read it even, the closer I feel to God and the more I feel like I can tell God anything. I think a lot of people just flippantly say "give it to God" and there are so Christians that don't know how to. I have found that the way my father was growing up is quite similar to the way I view God. As I draw closer to God, though, He seems less like my father and more like who He really really is.
James 4:8 Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.
I hope this is helpful and encouraging. I just really felt like I had to share some of the things I have learned. They may help you in all your relationships and especially your marriage if you are struggling.
God bless, Jo
