Adoption

So, my eldest asked me to put in Steven Curtis Chapman's Beauty Will Rise while we were on the way to school earlier this week. This has been a great CD to start many discussions with her, between talking of death and the need for a Saviour to discussing adoption and how an adoptive parent chooses to love that child even though the child doesn't have their blood running through his or her veins. This also led to a discussion on how Jesus dying on the cross made it possible for God to adopt us as children. I really love how she is not afraid to ask questions and I must remember to never be afraid to answer them.

Adoption is an amazing thing! I have a friend who is currently going through her third attempt at adopting. She and her husband tried to have kids, but when they realized that wasn't going as they'd hoped, they opened their hearts up to the idea of adoption. Sadly, the first two attempts ended in the birth mothers changing their minds. This was very painful for my friend and her husband. They never met the first, but did take the second little girl home and love her and take care of her for 2 weeks, at which time the birth mother called and told them she had changed her mind. They will forever love that little girl. It's just the kind of people they are! This 3rd child is a boy, they are nearing the 2 week mark, which I'm sure is scary. This 3rd case has played out very differently though and we all have hope that this is THEIR son! They love him like it was their blood flowing through his veins! That's the way it ought to be. That is the way that God loves us.

Then that brings up the subject of biological and non-biological children. There is something I will never get. How can a parent turn their back on their child? How can they say (either with words or with actions) they don't care for that child? I know I have my moments of frustration when I want to pull my hair out, but I will never turn my back on my children! No, it's not easy raising kids, especially one with special needs, but I didn't sign up for easy when I decided to have kids. I signed up to love them, any/all of them with all my heart! Have I always been the best at showing this? No, but God is teaching me the ways I need to improve and giving me a high five when he sees I've done it right!

So, praise the Lord, I am adopted into the family of God! Praise the Lord for Jesus Christ's shed blood that washes away my sin and makes me white as snow!

Living Life with an Out of Sync Child

So, I have struggled with this disorder from day one with little bit. She is a doll baby, but was definitely different from the get-go. There were many nights I got calls at work about her screaming for hours, there was the delayed motor skills, the fact that tickling didn't rile her, but it relaxed her. She hated being on her belly for a very long time, plus the first several times I touched her bare feet to grass she screamed bloody murder. Come to find out, this was all a part of a condition she was born with called Sensory Processing Disorder. Today, you barely notice a thing wrong with her. You can tell her speech, but on a good day you would never guess what is going on inside her body. The mixed messages, the troubles coping, the balance struggles. It just is not a "normal" life for her and may never be what any of us would consider normal.
So, after much time, debating whether to use the internet in this way, I ordered an informative book on the condition called "The Out of Sync Child" as well as its companion book, "Growing an In Sync Child." I've just received them, so I haven't gotten much past evaluating your child, but I really anticipate expanding my knowledge and being able to help little bit cope better. Nights like last night, when I had to swaddle a toddler and hold her tight while whispering calming words in her ear, they really bring it home. She was not having an "in sync" day.

Forgiveness is a Grand Thing

So about a week ago, I had a long conversation with my ex. I know that neither of us were very happy with how things ended up, but I sure am glad we are both able to come to a point where we can see more clearly. It is nice to be able to talk things out instead of yelling them out. It is nice to share the hurt without hurting that person back. Yes, there are things I won't forget, I am not wired to forget a whole lot (unless you asked me to do it in the last 5 minutes to week, lol), but forgiveness is not only a good thing, but it is commanded by God. I am glad, for the sake of our girls especially, that we have reached a point where we can move forward instead of tripping back over events neither of us can change.
Oh and here is a prime example of things being drastically different, I got a call on my birthday (that day was normally his day) that said I could keep the kids. That was completely awesome, seeing as one of my cousins and I almost share a birthday (his is the day before) and we were having a family dinner to celebrate. The girls were able to come to that and just completely enjoy the day with me. In turn, I am letting him have them tonight. I like this. I think this can be great for everyone! I am a bit shocked by it, but in a good way. I never thought it would happen this quickly, but so glad it has!
I am just so excited that my life is in such a good place right now. I have a church home that I adore, getting along with my ex, the girls are starting back into school and work is finally slowing down. I have been dealing with some "demons" from my childhood and I can feel some release there. I just really am loving life. There is one thing that I want, but I don't have to have. I would love to be dating someone. There is someone in particular that I'm interested in, but I seriously want to build a friendship bond first. I don't want to rush anything and life is good. I don't have to be with anyone, but if things work out, I'd be ecstatic!
So, lesson learned, forgive as Christ has forgiven you! It makes life SO much better than you could ever imagine!

Quotes from friends

Again, love reading people's statuses on facebook. A couple recent ones that I really liked.
With age comes wisdom, but sometimes age comes alone.
And this from a friend I made through my cousin.
* So if I have to leave you, *
* I want you to know that in the end, *
* it wasn't because I stopped caring. *
* It was because you stopped being a friend. *

Love Song - Third Day (New)

The Ultimate Love Song! Jesus would do ANYTHING to be with YOU!